it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She's the barista slut.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
