You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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