I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
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Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
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So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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