if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
