Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Sorry about my life...
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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