i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
