Christians are straight up FREAKS
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
