Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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