Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
