i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
