i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
