I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
