i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
