I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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