I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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