So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
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