drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
