are you still at the devil's house?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
