hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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