Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
