I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
