butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
