I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
