the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
