It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
My bed smells like the plague
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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