Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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