I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Its about making memories worth repressing
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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