if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
