I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
