I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
