It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
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