i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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