Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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