these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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