I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
