someone threw a dead crab at me
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Congratulations! We have a period
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