Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
