loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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