I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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