Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
They are going to name an STD after you.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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