ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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