Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
