Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize