Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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