I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
