Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Randomize
