Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
