I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
