my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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