We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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