you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
you never un-have a 4some
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
