I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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