she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
