I think my fart just growled at me.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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