woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
