Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I see more hoeing in ur future
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