I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
bring money and cleavage
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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