Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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