check it out our google latitudes are spooning
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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