all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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