My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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