So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I wish you could order shots online.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
she told me i tasted like america
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
