He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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