hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
