Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
